We’re wrapping up five days of the Sex is Awesome series, but it’s probably the most important day.  Now that we’ve gone through whose idea sex is, the purpose of sex, the boundaries sex comes with, and the consequences of heeding or disregarding sexual boundaries…

…What are you going to do with it?

If you already enjoy all the thrills that marital intimacy has to offer, I hope this has encouraged and blessed you to continue to celebrate sex to it’s fullest, and grow with your spouse towards even greater closeness.

But perhaps that’s not your story.  Maybe you’re hooking up regularly with someone you’re ‘in love’ with and it really doesn’t seem that big a deal.  Maybe you think you “need” it.  Maybe your biggest decision is whether to first have it on the second or third date.  Maybe you are married, but sex isn’t enjoyable or even desired.  Or maybe you’re having sex with a spouse, just not your spouse.

There are two common ways people respond when faced with something contrary to their lifestyle.

One choice is to continue on as you’ve always have.  Shrug and say it’s too late anyways, so what’s the point. Maybe part of you actually agrees, but you can’t imagine life without sex.  It’s just there, like brushing your teeth, and what on earth would people say when they found out you had changed your views, and became like… like one of those religious nutcases?!  It all just seems unreal and overwhelming.

The other way is also to continue on as you’ve always have, by saying all the God/boundary/soul intertwining crap is ridiculous baloney at best, hurtful absurdity at worst.  You insist you like the way things are right now, and you will live your own life thankyouverymuch.

You may even ask me who I am to say what’s right and wrong anyways.  Your point is valid.

I’m not anyone.

These aren’t my opinions I’m spouting off to condemn others or feel better about myself.  I have no authority to tell you what to do and not to do.

I’m just a small voice, pleading with you to consider something beyond your here and now.   There is far more to life than constant desperate attempts to quiet the heart shrieking to be fed and to fill the insatiable appetites of the soul.  Despite your weaknesses, failures and burdens, there is one who created you and also made a way for you to know him.  He understands your hungers and has an answer for them.

I’m not talking about that moral mumbo jumbo that says live-right-and-you’ll-be-good-enough-to-go-to-heaven garbage.  That’s a lie straight from the Devil himself.  No, I’m talking about a changed heart.  Changed desires.  Not through your own efforts, but by trusting in the victory that’s already been won for you.  You know who I’m talking about.

He makes all things new.

Sex is awesome.

It was invented by God, not only for making babies and for pleasure, but also to experience a deep intimate oneness with another. And, like everything else that you can possibly think of, it was created with purpose and intent, which means sex comes with boundaries.

Yes, you can ignore the boundaries.  God actually gave you the breathing room to be an idiot and choose the worse end of the deal. What do I mean by that?

There are natural results that come from disregarding the boundaries that sex was created with.  I see people all around me manifesting the consequences of wanting to have sex on their own terms, and I’m not referring to just things like adultery, sexually transmitted diseases or single-parent families.

I’m talking also about the man who hunts woman after woman, seeking to bed as many as quickly as possible in a vain attempt to satisfy the ever-growing hunger in his soul.  She’s just a notch in his belt, but yet he thinks another night of conquest will somehow fill the void.

The girl who is overly sexual in her mannerisms and apparel, because she believes the lie that enticing another man into her arms is where her value lies.

The guy who is always needing something a little more freaky, a bit more crude, and a tad more smutty, because what used to turn him on ceases to excite anymore.

The woman who uses sex as a tool to manipulate with or a weapon to control a man.

I could go on and on.  They think they are free. But ragged bits of souls of all the previous people they’ve had sex with cling to them like bleeding roses.

But there are also consequences, good consequences, when sex is enjoyed as it was intended; an extremely pleasurable, satisfying act of intimacy.

The commands of God do not rob us of freedom. They enable us to walk in freedom!

A man and woman coming together in trust, letting down their guards to give and receive pleasure.  Along with all the enjoyment and physical gratification, there is a strengthening of the bonds of commitment.  There is comfort, as neither one has to look or act a certain way to be accepted.  Each is valued, cherished, and indulged.

This is an intertwining of souls that brings unheard of delight to both participants, because the real freedom they are enjoying allows for deeper satisfaction, physically and emotionally.

For them, sex is just… awesome.  At that moment, the next morning, and always.

Yes, I think sex is awesome.

We already talked about who’s idea sex was, and that it was intended not only for making babies and experiencing pleasure, but also to share in a deep oneness with another person.  It was meant to be fulfilling and passionate.

Where the pleasure experienced by the body is intensified because of the intimacy shared between two souls.

And there’s the rub.

(pun intended)

When you are having sex with someone, you aren’t just experiencing physical swelling, increased heart rate, and fluid emissions brought on by a bunch of chemical surges.

During sex, just as you are joining physically with that person, your soul is intertwining with theirs.

Which is why God says, sex is only designed to be enjoyed within the confines of marriage.

When you are married, sex strengthens your bonds of commitment.  It brings deeper intimacy, builds trust, and gives you a mutually enjoyable way to express your love.

If you aren’t married to the person you are mixing your soul with, in the long run it just tears both of you down.  It brings shame, guilt, and emptiness.

You may not like this.  “Oh, you don’t understand” you say “There’s nothing wrong with having sex with someone you love.  Besides, it feels good to both of us.  We’re not tearing each other down!”

Starting with the fact that God invented sex, created us as sexual beings and wants us to enjoy sex, he also put boundaries into place for sex.

Oooh, we don’t like that word “boundaries”.  Sounds an awful lot like out-dated, stuffy, holier-than-thou rules that just try to destroy our fun.  Right?

You say you don’t agree with boundaries?  Then just start ignoring all the red lights.  Make dinner in the living room and eat it in the bathtub.  Wear your underwear on your head to your next business meeting.  Sleep on the interstate.

Obviously, we all live by boundaries.  Everything was created with purpose and intent. And that includes sex.

You can ignore the boundaries, sure.

That’s what we’ll talk about tomorrow.

I wrote yesterday that sex is awesome.

I also pointed out that sex came from God, and he created us to be sexual.  He wants us to want sex! Isn’t that awesome?!

But… why did he?

There are many reasons, one being the obvious.. to make babies.  But that’s not all there is to sex.  As I mentioned yesterday, a woman’s physiology makes it obvious that God intended sex to also be enjoyed for pure pleasure.

Those two reasons tend to be what we focus on.  We either strip it down to an act of obligation, a necessary function we perform for a desired end result (a baby), or we act like idiots chasing after the next orgasm with anyone who has the accompanying piece to our puzzle (pleasure).

When God created the woman, he did so after seeing that it was “not good for man to be alone.”  (Genesis 2:18)  When they were brought together, it says “And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”  Yes, they were nude.  But it means more than that.

“They were not ashamed” doesn’t really mean that they weren’t standing there blushing because they didn’t have clothes on, although that most certainly was true as well.  That word in the Hebrew has the added meanings of “astonished”, “confounded”, or “put to silence”.  In other words, they weren’t negatively surprised, disappointed, confused, or giving each other silent treatments.  There, in the garden together before sin had entered the world, they knew of a oneness, a deep trusting, intimate knowledge of each other that brought great joy, physically and emotionally.

That is what God intended for sex.

And isn’t that what we all yearn for?  To connect with another person deeply so that we feel safe with them.  Accepted.  Wanted.  Desired.

Sex as God designed it is where the pleasure experienced by the body is intensified because of the intimacy shared between two souls.

Souls.  That brings us to the third part of Sex is Awesome.  See ya tomorrow!

We live in a sex obsessed culture.

Wear/drive/drink/watch/attend this and you will be popular/attractive/exciting/fun and therefore you will have sex.  Or better sex.  Or more frequent sex.

I love sex.  Sex is awesome.  Yay, for sex! Let’s hear it for good sex, lots of sex, wild sex, intimate sex, make-up sex!  Sex, sex, SEX!

And know what else is true?

God invented sex.

I know, I know… I just totally pulled the plug on the fun little ride you were on, and it’s grinding to a halt while you stand there looking confused.  I mean, what does sex have to do with God??

Everything.

It’s funny to me that we would think sex is simply some naughty form of hedonism that is separate from God or someone’s “church life”.  As if God got busy with other things after introducing Eve to Adam, then found them snickering with Satan over their risque discovery, and was like, “Oh no! What mischief have you gotten yourselves into?! Stop it!”

Um, no.

He had it mind all along.  Mind-blowing, fantastic, beautiful sex.

Now, the fact that God invented sex doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t be any fun. We’re not talking about lights out, high neck flannel nightgown on, silent, stilted, intercourse.

Think about it.. If God invented sex, and he created humans, then he created all the bits and pieces of our bodies that make sex all the fun that it is, even giving us ladies a special part that is only for making sex feel good.  Yes, he created us as sexual creatures.  He intended us to really, fully, enjoy sex.  A lot.

So that’s the fun idea today.

Sex is awesome.

Yeah, you know me better than to believe I’d leave it at that.  Writing about sex has been so much fun, that I’ve decided to write another series!  Everything that’s created is done so with purpose.  Come back tomorrow for what God intended sex for.  Ooohh, baby.