Hey, Mom… Have you been taking the opportunity this Holiday season to enjoy any “better moments“?

Last week, we were finishing up the preparation of an ordinary dinner.  The table was set and we were just waiting for Daddy to arrive so we could eat.

One of my daughters wanted to remove all the dishes and put a tablecloth on the table.  I nixed that idea.  She then asked if we could use the fancy dishes.  I said no.  “Then, can we all dress up fancy?”  I sighed in irritation, just wanting a quiet, peaceful evening that didn’t involve a lot of work.

I felt that little prodding, those little reminders I occasionally get that urge me to slow down and savor times with my children.

It’s in the little, seemingly unimportant moments that sweet memories are made.

So I sent all the children but one to play elsewhere.  She and I strung 3 long sections of lights from the hanging light over our dining room table to the side walls.

When we sat down to eat, the lights made a sparkling canopy of stars above us.  It transformed an ordinary meal into a magical one.

But it was their smiles that made all the hassle worth it.

Earth shattering, I know.  I should say Life+ is goin’ on right now. My mind is going in a hundred different directions at once, and writing is taking a backseat.  During the children’s naptimes, which is when I usually have my computer time, I just want to sit in the sunshine and melt into a puddle of goo.

And yet, I can’t not write. (I also can’t use correct grammar when I write posts. It just wouldn’t flow.)

It’s just that everything I type is coming out as a whiny, ridiculous piece of pity poop.  (That doesn’t even make sense. But whatever.)

See, there’s this disgusting thing about me.. When I am stressed, I tend to reeeeaaaally want things to go just right, so that I can do what needs to be done and everything falls in line, bam bam bam.

Uh, news flash.  Life never goes as planned.  As least not the way I planned it.  So, guess what? I get cranky.  And whoever dares to mess up my idea how and when things “should” be becomes the receiver of my irritation.

*Grumble. Slam cupboard. Frown. Tighten shoulders.*

Little children especially just refuse to cooperate with my “shoulds”.  They’re like miniature tangible expressions of the phrase my mother (and perhaps every mother) used to say when I whined about some injustice.  She’d shrug and say,  “Life isn’t fair!”

It’s like they know when I’m right on the edge, and they see this big, red flashing button on my forehead that says, “Push Me” and so they do.  Eleventy million times.  Every hour.

I think that’s their true purpose.  Because as much as I’d like to *think* that I’m a happy, fun-loving person who handles all the crap life hands me on a silver plate with a smile, I’m really not.  And children just speed up the process of that realization.

Oh, hey, selfish insane person! I never knew you were buried in there under that pretty mask and all that pretense.  So, um, awful to meet you.

In the midst of chaos and upheaval land, where I too often take Cantankerous Road, I find solace in allowing Better Moments.

The funny thing about Better Moments, is that although they are mainly meant to bless my children they end up blessing me so much more.  I suddenly find myself delighting in them, fully embracing that moment.

And it bathes me in a deep contentedness I cannot explain and that could never come from a life spent in ease and kept schedules.

In my attempts to have Better Moments, I allowed this…

I admit, my first reaction was to cry out an exasperated, “NOooo!”. I’m so glad I stopped myself and laughed instead. He was absolutely enthralled with this new experience.

And cleanup was actually a breeze!

Have you been having any Better Moments?

On the recommendation from a friend, I have been reading A Sane Woman’s Guide to Raising a Large Family.  I have to agree with her that this book is not limited to mothers of many children.  There are wonderful ideas and encouragement in there for all moms.

One thing in particular has stuck with me.  Something she calls “better” moments.

All too often I get to the end of the week, or even at the end of each day, and consider with great guilt all the ways I screwed up this mothering gig.  I didn’t do this.  I failed to do that.  The whole idea of being who and what I should generally seems too overwhelming.  It’s impossible to be the ‘best’ mom, and failed efforts lead to discouragement.

And then I don’t improve at all.

But what if I broke it down to just individual responses?  What if instead of viewing it as a huge, over-arching ideal I simply made the conscience effort to adjust a couple things every day?

Perhaps instead of griping about the scattered Legos, I sat down for 10 minutes and built something with them.  I’d probably scold about the mess soon after, but at least they’d know I’m partially capable of enjoying life with them.

Or every once in a while I could put aside the thought of more work and mess, and just say yes to a big picnic lunch outside.

What are some ways you can think of creating “better” moments this week?