(These are written in no particular order. So #1 is no more important than #56. If a product is mentioned, I am not getting compensated from some company to review or rave about their product. I’m just a mom sharing, well, things I wish I would’ve known about a long time ago.)

TIWIWKAALTA #8  ~ Avoiding food with dye is very important to the health and well-being of my children.

People often mention the effects that sugar has on children.  Most notice that some children become hyper and difficult to manage after eating a sugary treat.  But, in my experience, the problems probably arise from the dye in that food, as much if not more than the sugar.

I remember the first time the relation between food dyes and hyperactivity clicked in my mom brain.

It was Angel Imp’s birthday, my fourth child.  I don’t remember the exact age she was, but it was quite young since she chose a Blue’s Clue’s cake from the grocery store bakery.  Usually, I make a homemade cake with better ingredients, like honey or  unrefined cane sugar, but I remember life being busy and full and I thought, “well, it won’t hurt just this once.”

This particular daughter was known to occasionally have crazy periods where it seemed she had no control over her own body.  I could only describe it as energy times 100, as she practically bounced off the ceiling.  Shortly after we cleared up the cake and ice cream, it began.  My Angel Imp turned into Monster Girl.

Not again! I thought, dreading the approaching bedtime hour, where I knew she would continue her tornado-like state until she collapsed with exhaustion.

The next day, I happened to notice that her bowel movements were blue.  As in bright, Blues-Clues blue.  Ew, I frowned.  That stuff can’t be good for little bodies. Then the light came on.

I watched her closely after that, and the connection between food dye and her behavior became undeniable.  I began reading ingredient labels even more carefully and discovered that practically everything has dye in it.  Pickles, purchased baked goods and dough, and cereals all had to go.  Some colors affect her more than others, with blue and red being the worst.

Now, I see children acting like orangutans on crack and I realize it’s no wonder.  They likely just had a snack of packaged cookies with a handful of “fruit” snacks, all washed down with a glass of Kool-Aid.  Ack.

I think of the kids labeled as ADD, ADHD, or just “troubled” and I wonder how many had Lucky Charms for breakfast.  Even the roll in their school lunch probably has dye in it.  Their strawberry milk certainly does.

It is interesting to note that food dyes did not seem to have any significant effect on my 3 older children, at least not enough that I noticed it.  So it’s not like dye has this effect on every child.  (Which is why the FDA still allows dyes in food; Any study performed that does show a link also has a number of children who are not affected.  Just enough to ignore the facts, I guess.)

But, knowing how dye can affect someone so visibly, do I really want to ignore the possibility of it causing currently undetected consequences in the health of my other children?

1997 Graduate Student Research Project conducted at the University of South Florida linking artificial food additives to ADD.

Diet and behavior in children. Center for Science in the Public Interest

2007 study linking hyperactivity and food coloring.  Psychiatry Online

The Truth about Food Dyes.  CBS news

Another mom’s personal story regarding food in Gradual Change.

All right, I could post links all day.  Just Google, “food dye effects on children”.  You’ll have lots to read.

(These are written in no particular order. So #1 is no more important than #56. If a product is mentioned, I am not getting compensated from some company to review or rave about their product. I’m just a mom sharing, well, things I wish I would’ve known about a long time ago.)

TIWIWKAALTA #7  ~ Hospitality isn’t necessarily entertaining, and entertaining isn’t always hospitality.

Hospitality at its barest core is saying, C’mon in, my house is your house.  It’s just inviting people in to be a part of our life for a while, which may or may not include a meal.  I don’t do extra cleaning, worry too much about presentation, or fret about what people will think.  It just is what it is.

Entertaining, on the other hand, is a different story.  Yes, it is hospitality in a sense, but it comes with a lot more work and preparation.  It usually means hours of deep cleaning, special decor and a well-planned menu.

I used to confuse the two.  If we had anyone over, even good friends, I thought it meant I had to have a spotless house and a four course dinner.  Besides, there was always a room that needed work or a project that needed finishing before I could deem my home fit for company.

What this actually boiled down to was, we just ended up not having anyone over.  I thought it was just too much work.

Now, we have people over all the time.  Hardly a day goes by that someone doesn’t come through our doors.  Yes, they see my unswept floors and piled dirty dishes.  And if they ask if there’s anything they can do to help, I’m not afraid to put a broom or dishcloth in their hand.  I’ve learned to let appearances slide to simply welcome friends into our home, relaxing while enjoying conversation and fellowship.

While there is something thrilling about getting the house all gussied up for entertaining, learning to relax about every day hospitality has brought the fun back into having people over.

(These are written in no particular order. So #1 is no more important than #56. If a product is mentioned, I am not getting compensated from some company to review or rave about their product. I’m just a mom sharing, well, things I wish I would’ve known about a long time ago.)

TIWIWKAALTA #6  ~  I won’t need most of the typical “new baby” stuff, and much of the stuff I do need I don’t have to buy brand new.

When expectant first time parents walk into one of those mega baby supply stores, they are bombarded with everything from wipes warmers to light-up nail clippers and sucked in by the matching highchair, stroller and playpen sets.

I remember being a little overwhelmed by all the stuff I “needed” for our first baby.  I wish I would’ve known that most of it is either worthless or available used in brand-new condition.

The bedroom set is sweet, but absolutely unnecessary.  In fact, the entire notion of a separate matchy-match nursery is kind of a weird cultural thing in this country that really doesn’t make much sense to me, except to fulfill some part of the pregnant mother’s nesting urges.  Her time and energy would be better used by activities such as making meals to freeze.

I haven’t used a changing table in, oh, 9 years.  They make really good storage areas, but any set of shelves or drawers would work just as well.  I find that most of the time I changed baby’s diaper in the main part of the house, usually the living room floor or on my bed.

Some babies love swings and bouncy seats, and others absolutely hate them.  I wish I would’ve just bought mine used.  They are found everywhere at garage sales and Mom2Mom sales, looking brand new and only a fraction of the price.

I wish I would’ve stayed away from any diaper pails.  They all eventually stink, and the bag refills are annoying and costly.  Now if I have a disposable dirty diaper, I just save my plastic grocery bags, tie any dirty diapers inside and throw it in my kitchen trash that gets emptied often. I suppose if you use the reusable grocery bags it would still be cheaper to dispose of any dirty diapers inside a small garbage bag.

Cute adult-looking outfits are adorable, but again, completely unnecessary and usually quite uncomfortable for babies.  Ditto for shoes.

And never mind those pasty diaper ointments that are full of toxins.  A simple, natural salve or even coconut or olive oil is safer and actually works better.

I don’t use those little infant bath tubs, since I really don’t give my babies anything more than quick wipe-downs the first few months of their lives. *gasp*

My list of essentials would include things like onesies/snap t-shirts, several comfortable one piece outfits, a couple of swaddling blankets, a stack of receiving blankets (they are great for everything from a nursing cover up to a burp rag), diapers, a sling or other baby carrier, a car seat, and one warm blanket if the weather calls for it.  Hospitals or midwives provide the nose sucky thing and a newborn hat.

Mom’s essentials would be a breast pump, nursing pads, and Lansinoh if you’re breast feeding, herbal healing baths, and menstrual pads.  Hospitals and midwives provide that awesome little water squirter bottle.

Later I might add a stroller, crib, high chair, and bouncy seat, but even those aren’t absolutely necessary.  And I would definitely purchase them used!

Trust me, babies don’t need soap, perfumed lotions, fancy sheet sets, or a bath robe with matching washcloth.

What did I forget?

(These are written in no particular order. So #1 is no more important than #56. If a product is mentioned, I am not getting compensated from some company to review or rave about their product. I’m just a mom sharing, well, things I wish I would’ve known about a long time ago.)

TIWIWKAALTA#5  Most babies don’t sleep through the night for quite a while. And that’s okay.

Out of my six children, only one slept through the night within the first couple months.

As a new mom, I was obsessed with getting “enough” sleep.  Somehow I had gotten the impression that a baby should sleep through the night within a few weeks.  Perhaps it was from hearing a parent brag how their baby slept 9 hours every night beginning the first night. Or maybe it was just from being consistently asked if my baby was a “good” baby, giving the impression, of course, that all “good” babies didn’t disturb their parents during the night.

The more I was determined to get uninterrupted sleep, the more I resented my baby for not adhering to my expectations.  Which then led to misguided ridiculous things such as giving a bottle full of formula and rice cereal just before bed. *sigh*

I wish I knew then what I know now.  Babies love to sleep with their parents, and sharing my bed with my baby is a beautiful thing.  No, they won’t be there forever.  No, you aren’t spoiling them.  And no, it doesn’t destroy your sex life!

With breastfeeding babies, it can be particularly important to nurse your baby during the night.  Breastmilk is designed to be fed frequently, since it contains low protein levels and most babies metabolize breastmilk quickly.  Plus, an 8 week old baby gets about 30% of all food volume between the hours of midnight and 8 a.m.   That’s pretty significant.

Add in learning the reality that more frequent feedings equal better supply while fewer feedings equal lower supply, along with studies that show how frequent sucking motion (ie, nursing) guards against SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome), and I relaxed significantly about nighttime feedings.

Which was a good thing, since my sixth baby didn’t even begin to sleep more than 4 hours during the night until he was over a year old.

(These are written in no particular order. So #1 is no more important than #56. If a product is mentioned, I am not getting compensated from some company to review or rave about their product. I’m just a mom sharing, well, things I wish I would’ve known about a long time ago.)

TIWIWKAALTA# 4 Nursing babies eat often.  Very often.

I’ve breastfed all of my babies.  I love it.  But I didn’t always love it.

Over 12 years ago when Big Bro was born, I was an exhausted new mother who barely knew which way was up.  If it hadn’t been for my mom there helping me, I don’t know how I would have survived! (thanks again, Mom!)

To top it off, nursing my baby was a lot more difficult than I thought it would be.  It hurt.  It seemed like there wasn’t enough milk coming out. My new baby would fall asleep seconds after latching on, then scream in hunger a few minutes later.

My mom was there, either in person or a phone call away, assuring me that all was perfectly normal.  Yes, you have enough milk, she comforted me.  And he was, made evident by his consistently wet diapers.  You’ll only be sore a few days and then it’ll all adjust, she encouraged.  And she was right about that too.

But what I never got through my thick skull was that nursing babies eat very, very often.  I would nurse him, tuck him in his car seat and by the time I got 5 minutes into my grocery shopping he would be screaming to eat again.  The old doubts would rise up with a vengeance and I wondered what on earth I was doing wrong.

If only I knew then what I know now;  Nothing was wrong!  He was a growing infant and they are meant to metabolize breastmilk quickly.  That’s a good thing, not a problem!  Nursing every hour and a half or even every hour is not unusual, especially during growth spurts.

Sadly, I was so frustrated with the seemingly never-ending demand that I weaned him before 4 months.  I deeply regret it now.  If I had just hung in there a bit longer, it probably would not have been long before he went longer between feedings.

Every single one of my babies has had periods where they would go 4 or five hours between nursing, and then other times when 30 minutes later they needed more.  Thankfully, I learned to relax over the years and just rolled with it.  I’ve been known to cradle my baby in a sling and discreetly nurse all throughout the grocery store.

I also changed my perspective on breast feeding.  It’s not simply to nourish their bodies, although it does that well.  Breastfeeding also develops the deep bonding between mommy and baby, through regular skin-to-skin contact.  Not only that, but every time a baby latches on he causes mommy to make “happy” hormones that guard against the baby blues.  (You feeling depressed after a baby? Nurse more!)

Breastfeeding often makes happier babies, and a happier mommy!

These are written in no particular order. So #1 is no more important than #56. If a product is mentioned, I am not getting compensated from some company to review or rave about their product. I’m just a mom sharing, well, things I wish I would’ve known about a long time ago.

TIWIWKAALTA# 3 Quiet time for everyone

Every afternoon, beginning between 1 and 3, we have Quiet Time. Mr.Man (3), Angel Imp (5), and Sunshine (7) take naps. Big Bro (12) and Bossy (10) have to find something quiet to do, like reading or crafts. Talking is limited. Silence is preferred.

Baby doesn’t always have his naps timed with the others, but it still gives most of us a break from each other. It’s amazing how refreshing it is to just have time “apart” in the same house. I get frazzled (um, okay, irritable) when there hasn’t been a time to regroup or slow down.  Plus, it makes the evening supper time preparation go so much more smoothly.

Many moms tell me their children no longer nap, or even “won’t” take naps. Who says they have to sleep? That’s why I call it Quiet Time. An hour laying quietly in their beds looking at books is good enough. And I think most parents would be surprised how often their children would end up nodding off.

It may take a little time and patience to teach your child to stay in their rooms or beds quietly if they never have before. Cheerful firmness is the key.

I think the world would be a happier place if most children were allowed to quiet themselves every afternoon. Heck, I think moms would be happier.

These are written in no particular order.  So #1 is no more important than #56.  If a product is mentioned, I am not getting compensated from some company to review or rave about their product. I’m just a mom sharing, well, things I wish I would’ve known about a long time ago.

TIWIWKAALTA #2 – Kids don’t need juice.

If all you have in the house to drink is water or milk, they’ll survive. Actually, they’ll be happier.  And eat their meals better, since they won’t be full of juice.

Juice contains more sugar than children need.  Yes, even the all-natural brands, and yes, even though it’s natural sugar.

Juice gives children a sweet tooth.  They’ll get so they think they have to have it, and will refuse water.

Juice is an unnecessary grocery expense.  Buy whole fruit instead.

No more finding moldy sippy cups with an unidentifiable type of juice in it.  Water is so much easier to clean!

I like to save juice for special occasions or for when they’re sick and not eating much.  I actually have to go buy it special for those times, since I rarely even have it in the house.

And we don’t even miss it now.

Arnica has been a lifesaver this week.

Most people are like, “What the heck is ar-nick-ah???”

I didn’t know about homeopathy until about 6 years ago.  Now, I don’t know what I would do without it!  It is becoming more common, and now most corner drugstores carry homeopathic blends for common childhood issues like teething, earaches and fever.

So what is homeopathy?  You can read about it here. And here.

Homeopathic remedies are available in either singles or blends.  Singles are better, but you have to know which one to give and that can take a little practice.  I have a few good books I refer to.  I listed them on my other (family) blog.  There are several more good ones.

Arnica is probably the most frequently used homeopathic single remedy I use, as it immediately helps in any sort of physical trauma.  Slows bleeding, stops and lessens swelling, prevents bruising, etc.  With a houseful of children, you can see why it’s used almost daily.  Other ones I use regularly are Pulsatilla and Chamomilla.

Blends are a bit easier to use, and they contain most of the possible singles that would work.  And when your child wakes with a raging fever in the middle of the night and on the weekend (isn’t that always when it happens?) it’s easier to just grab the bottle labeled “Fevers” than find your book, skim the chapter, and choose your remedy.

Similasan and Hyland’s both make blends for a wide variety of health concerns.  They have blends available for both adults and children.

I encourage mothers to learn about homeopathy.  It is so inexpensive and also highly effective.  What more could you ask for?